Wrong people are everywhere. Well, they are not wrong people per se.
They are just wrong for you. Or you are wrong for them. Either way, you are always going to be meeting wrong people.
Good people, bad people, right people, wrong people – all this is subjective. But there are people that are wrong for you – that’s objective.
Well, first of all, how do you know people are wrong for you?
If you can happily sit in silence with them, they are the right ones. If that will make you feel awkward, they are the wrong ones.
Well, there are other such ways to find who are the wrong people in your life.
As a thumb rule, 60% of people you have in your life is either irrelevant or wrong for you.
What happens when you spend time with the wrong people?
1. You don’t give yourself a chance to be with the right people.
2. You don’t give them a chance to be with the people right for them.
What actually happens to you?
1. YOU WASTE TIME:
Wrong people are everywhere.
There’s the classmate sitting right next to you to whom you give company for smoking.
There’s the girl who comes to you, only when she needs something from you.
There’s the guy that calls you every day to talk. He can’t go a day without
talking to you.
There’s the set of colleagues who buy a cake for your birthday. They probably don’t care if you are suffocating inside.
There’s the person that you are trying to help. They aren’t open to receiving it.
There’s the girl you love that you are chasing. She’s chasing someone else.
There’s the girl that who loves you that you don’t love back. You are still in a relationship with her coz you are afraid of being alone.
WRONG PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE AROUND YOU.
Are these people going to remember you 10 years down the road? No. Are you going to remember them 10 years down the road? No. Do they care? No. Do you care? Probably now. Probably not later.
When you spend time with the wrong people, you waste time. Life’s made of time. So you waste life.
What can be a better use of time?
Watching the night sky.
Playing the guitar.
Spending time with your beloved one.
Calling your parents.
Connecting with an old friend.
Or just sitting near the ocean, watching the sand and the water.
DO something. DO anything. DO Nothing. It will all be a better use of your time than spending it with the wrong people.
2. YOU WASTE MONEY:
You spend time with the wrong people. You go out with them. You hang out with them. You do things for them. You do things with them. You feel obligated to.
They spend money. You are obligated to spend your money at one or the other point. If you don’t, either they ditch you or they stop hanging out with you. It’s a social stigma.
Is that money worth the time spent? When the time is itself a waste, is the money spent not a waste too?
What can be a better use of your money?
– Pay for your gym membership (and actually hit the gym every day).
– Save the money and take a trip. Take a trip to wherever you wanna go. Go to the beach. Go to a temple. Go to a different country.
– Buy your beloved ones what they wished they had.
– Buy yourself whatever you wished you had. Buy yourself that expensive pair of aviators. Treat yourself with that pure chocolate!
– Buy a homeless guy three meals for the day.
– Sponsor a child’s education for a year.
– Trade the money in the stock market, mutual funds, however little it is that you have.
– Invest it in a bank and put it in a compounding deposit for 15 years.
Buy something. Buy some experience. Or better yet, just burn the money. Have a profound realization that money is just a piece of paper that controls you.
Buy something. Buy anything. Or buy nothing. Anything is better than spending money on the wrong people. You did it once. You don’t have to do it again.
3. YOU WASTE ENERGY:
Wrong people suck the energy out of you. Or you just misplace your energy on such people.
They don’t serve a purpose in your life. You don’t serve a purpose in their life.
Your life won’t go bleak if they suddenly disappear. Their life won’t go bleak if you took off. But, they don’t and you don’t either.
You keep hanging around.
Maybe just so you could make use of what that person has to offer. Maybe it’s for a future emergency that may not even arise.
You have hundreds of contacts on your mobile. Only 10 of them mean something to you. The rest of the few hundreds? You keep those contacts ‘JUST IN CASE’.
You spend money. You spend time. You spend energy by doing the former two.
You hang on to that ‘JUST IN CASE’.
Sometimes you gain something. Sometimes they suck the energy out of you.
Some wrong people are energy vampires. Sometimes maybe not. But you spend your energy in spending time and money. And that energy is gone.
You don’t get anything out of that gone energy. It probably makes you feel afraid. It probably makes you feel angry. Sometimes it makes me feel sad. Sometimes it makes you feel lonely.
You know what’s a better use of energy?
– Go to the gym and sweat it out. Spend energy on that.
– Train for a marathon and run, run, run all morning. Spend your energy on that.
– Take a walk along the shore. Spend your energy on that.
– Do yoga. Spend your energy on that.
– Help your mother around the house, cleaning, cooking, washing stuff. Spend your energy on that.
– Or just sit and breathe in, breathe out. Meditate and get high. Spend your energy on that.
Do something. Do anything. Or Do nothing. Spending energy on nothing and saving it is a better use of it than spending it on the wrong people.
4. YOU COMPROMISE:
You are with the wrong people for one reason. Coz you like them. Or coz they like you.
Probably you want them for something. Probably they want you for something.
Maybe you want to hang around so that you could take some favor. Maybe they feel the same way. Or maybe you are just obligated to be.
Whatever it is, it all comes down to one thing.
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU. PEOPLE WANT YOU TO LIKE THEM.
It’s like Facebook.
The more you like someone’s status, the more you emulate them.
The more you want people to like your status, posts or photos, the more you show only what they will like.
When they don’t like it, you sometimes ask them to like it. Maybe you ask explicitly. Maybe you don’t. You probably ask implicitly by showing hints.
One thing’s for sure, you don’t show who you really are. You show only what you think they will like about you.
So, you COMPROMISE.
You compromise who you really are. You compromise on who you really want to be.
Sometimes you do things that you don’t really want to. Sometimes you don’t do things that you really want to. Both are dangerous. Both are stupid. Both are ignorant.
Sometimes you act. Sometimes you hide. Sometimes you wear a mask. But one thing’s for sure. Around the wrong people, you don’t live as your truest, most authentic self.
What do you accomplish by doing that? Sometimes something. Most times, nothing.
What can you better compromise on?
– Read great books. Compromise on TV shows.
– Read great novels. Compromise on Movies.
– Breathe fresh air. Compromise on smoking.
– Drink Water. Compromise on alcohol.
– Drink fresh juice. Compromise on carbonated drinks.
– Use honey. Compromise on Sugar.
– Be alone for a while. Compromise on company.
Compromise on something like that. Compromise on anything like that. Or compromise on nothing at all and settle only for the best.
Anything is better than compromising on yourself, for the wrong people.
You know deep down who are the wrong people in your life.
You have read this and you probably know their names popping up right now.
Right now, there’s a name on top of your head.
Probably that person is bothering you lately.
Probably they don’t reciprocate your love.
Probably they demean you.
Maybe they don’t respect you as much as you want them to.
Does it matter? It does.
Why should it matter? You don’t know.
You know the question that you should be asking? “WHY SHOULD IT NOT MATTER? “
It should not matter because, in a few years, whatever you did with the wrong people won’t matter. Whatever time, money and energy you spent on the wrong people won’t matter. And you will have one thing left. REGRET. Do you want that? Obviously no.
So change your life. Stop allowing the wrong people. Give yourself a chance to be with the right people. Give those wrong people the permission to be with the people right for them.
It’s better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.